This Stands Between The Life You Have And The Life You Want

Imagine a young boy. Age 10.

Healthy. Everything seems fine with him on the outside.

But his parents notice something that worries them.

His favourite toys were LEGO. He loved building LEGO.

But whenever he would get LEGO, he would get so immersed in building them that he would forego using the restroom when he needed.

Desperately holding himself to try and continue building without having to deal with that inconvenience.

He would forego eating.

His parents would call for him over and over again. He wouldn't care.

Eating was an inconvenience. Until the LEGO was completed.

The question is:

Was this a problem or a superpower?

Well it depends.

Because that kid was me.

I would avoid and hold back as long as I could just before I would pee myself.

I would go hours starving myself (unintentionally) due to my focus on the task at hand.

It's taken me decades to realize what was going on.

I realized that I was born with a superpower for the modern world.

And perhaps we all were.

But for the sake of arbitrary diversification of skills or hobbies our parents simply thought were needed (even if it meant doing things we didn't enjoy) we lose this focus muscle.

On top of that - we start to get dragged in so many different directions as we get older without having had the time to determine what it is we actually want.

What is actually important to us.

We may be diagnosed as having ADD simply because we lack focus on things we just despise.

For example; when it came to video games, the same pattern occurred.

Sixteen hours straight. Few bathroom breaks. Little hydration or food.

Extreme focus.

But in school? I'm asleep within 10 minutes of the class starting.

Homework? Couldn't focus for the life of me.

LEGO? Don’t talk to me for the next 3 days. I’m busy building.

While concentration sounds more like what I’m talking about here, it’s actually the ability to narrow our focus in our life as a whole that allows us to accomplish the things we want.

In an overly distracted world that never “shuts off” and pulls us in a 100 different directions until 10 years go by in a blink...

The ability to focus your mind & life on a single task or area intensely enough to see it through to its maximum accomplishment is the untapped superpower underlying all of this chaos.

Focus = Results.

Here are things many people desire (externally & internally) that will likely resonate with you:

A healthy, fit body.

Strong & lean. High energy.

Wealth. Financial freedom for you and your family.

Maybe a supercar? Maybe a big house?

Travelling the world whenever and wherever you feel like sounds nice, no?

How about a big family as well?

Two, three or even more kids?

You also want to help around the community maybe? Or coach kids sports?

You want to create content online as well perhaps. Start up a business.

Spend time with family & friends often.

Perhaps even more importantly:

You want the feeling of being fulfilled. Excited every day you wake up.

Deep-rooted confidence to pursue the life you’ve always wanted with true belief in yourself.

Confidence where you walk in a room and carry yourself well regardless of who is in it.

A presence that stands out.

An attractive vibe.

Peace & gratitude constantly.

No pointless stress coming at you because of the overly demanding life you’re living that wouldn’t be the one you would have chosen for yourself.

I’m here to tell you that it can all be done.

You have the power to change all of these things you want to change.

Dream of changing.

But not all at once.

And it's the pursuit of multiple areas of life at once that actually is the very thing that gets in the way of accomplishing them.

Then we grow old and we become people that once “had dreams” but gave up on them and “accepted” that they were never meant to be.

No.

They are meant to be. If you make them.

But this means some areas must take a back seat temporarily.

In a pursuit to grow a business, your social life will probably take a hit for a bit.

Or if you don’t have a family, then you can build a business & be social because you can put that off for now.

And fitness should be a cornerstone of your life regardless of whatever else you have going on.

But it is well worth it in the end.

Here is why…

3 Strong Reasons Why Narrow Focus Is Essential.

Increased effectiveness of reaching your goals.

The reason Michael Phelps is the greatest swimmer to ever live; he himself attributes this to the simplicity of his narrow focus.

He ONLY swam.

His famous routine consisted of a very simple process:

Step 1 - Wake up.

Step 2 - Get in pool.

Because he had only ONE focus for his entire life (to be the best swimmer), he spent no excess energy on anything else.

His competition’s focus & attention in life were diverted.

He won.

Top athletes like Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Cristiano Ronaldo..

And top businessmen like Warren Buffett, Charlie Munger, Ray Dalio, Jeff Bezos..

They all attribute their success to one word: Focus.

How this applies to you:

If you struggle to see progress in a particular area of your life - like fitness - it’s probably because your focus is split thin with so many other things.

Therefore, you cannot give it the commitment it requires.

If you want to get in amazing shape in the next year, but you also want to…

• See your friends every weekend

• Start a family

• Start a business

• Prioritize your mental health

• And start up a new hobby

Your chances of success in ALL of these areas at once are abysmal.

The more narrow your focus on just a few key areas, the more likely you are to accomplish the goals in those few areas.

Greg McKeown, author of the incredible book “Essentialism”, explains how the more things you add to your plate in life, the more chance of you being miserable, stressed & unsuccessful.

That brings us to the next key for why focus is essential:

Reduced overwhelm and stress.

A chronically stressed state prevents creative thinking, a peaceful mind and mental clarity.

It limits self-awareness as your body remains in a state of “fight or flight”.

This is how people can get stuck in the exact same loop or cycle of “starting back over on Monday'“ for YEARS before they finally decide to make a change.

It’s the constant stress, messiness and unpredictability of their lives that prevent them from even being able to take a step back and analyze the insanity they now find themselves in.

Life can’t be 100% predictable (nor should it be) but most people’s lives are 80% chaos.

This will be unproductive and even stop you from seeing it’s unproductiveness for a long time.

It’s what causes someone to feel lost and overwhelmed as a result.

Ever felt that way?

This YouTube video I made covers a very simple but powerful practise you can do for 10 minutes or less per day to significantly help with this too.

We’ll break down how to deal with all of this shortly via a 3-step process to narrow your focus.

Deeper learning and growth as a person.

When you focus on a specific area, you can dedicate more time and attention to learning and acquiring knowledge and skills related to that domain.

This depth of focus can lead to greater expertise, mastery, and personal growth, because you have the opportunity to delve into the nuances and intricacies of the chosen area.

“Jack of all trades, master of none” comes to mind.

It is only through true commitment to something with sheer focus and discipline to see it through (depth) that you learn the most about yourself.

Most people will live their entire lives without knowing who they truly are.

How their upbringing influences their behaviours & beliefs today.

Why they react emotionally to some things and not to others.

These are some of the most profound things a human can learn about themselves.

It can provide you with peace, fulfillment, growth & evolution that older generations shrug off because they were raised in a state of constant survival.

If you want to go from surviving to thriving, it happens through a mental evolution.

And that can only occur through deep introspection, which is caused by deep commitment & focus on a couple important domains and endeavors in your life.

3-Step Process To Narrow your Focus.

1. Shadow Work + Your Vision

“Fail to plan, plan to fail”.

Almost no one has a vision for their lives.

I’m not talking about a dream.

I mean a true vision that they commit to seeing through.

What does your ideal day actually look like?

Few are living their ideal days.

But many could.

The first step to achieving the life you want is by getting extremely clear on what you want and how it looks.

Your day-to-day schedule. How you feel day-to-day.

Your family life.

Your health.

Your love life.

Your financial situation.

Take a day to map this out.

Then, take another day to do what is called “Shadow Work”.

Your “shadow” - a concept brought to mainstream via the famous philosopher & scientist Carl Jung - is basically your subconscious and all of the parts in it that you hide away.

It’s the past trauma of your childhood. Things people said that left an imprint.

Certain experiences you had that shaped what triggers you emotionally today and drives you.

By asking yourself some simple (but difficult) questions and taking the time to answer them thoroughly, you essentially conduct therapy on yourself.

It’s typical for a true shadow work session to take around 6 hours.

It’s emotional. It’s eye-opening.

And there are few things you could ever do that will be more impactful.

While you can search up shadow work prompts or quizzes online, I’ll actually be releasing what I’m calling the Mission & Purpose Planner myself to send out to everyone on my list here, so stay tuned for the announcement on that.

It will have the prompts you need to do effective shadow work. To understand yourself better and then create the vision & mission for your life that actually drives you to be the best version of yourself everyday.

Willpower not required.

Motivation not required.

It will be completely free to anyone on my list, meaning you.

Once you have done your shadow work & set up a vision that actually drives you based on who you truly are and how you operate, we can move to step 2.

2. Identify the essential things in your life that matter most, start cutting out the rest.

Now that you have an actual purpose and direction for what you want out of life and the things that matter most to you:

You can now effectively identify all of the non-essential things in your life that you have been doing up until now simply because you didn’t realize how unimportant they were.

A lot of people are stuck seeing the same friends every weekend.

Drinking or smoking with them just because they never spent the time to realize how much that is holding them back from their true values & purpose in life.

Once you determine this, you reverse “FOMO” (Fear Of Missing Out) to “JOMO” - the Joy Of Missing Out!

FOMO only exists in people that don’t have a purpose or mission for themselves.

Easy fix.

Once you’ve identified the things you don’t actually need or aren’t essential, cut them out completely so you have much more energy to focus on the things that truly matter to you now.

(I will again recommend the book “Essentialism” for you to pick up to get a deep dive on how to go about this as effectively as possible, as well as a book called “The ONE Thing” by Gary Keller.)

3. Build a powerful routine for yourself based around your vision & essential things of concern.

This will help you dial in these main areas of focus in your life, which will help you rapidly progress through them.

The power of routine can never be underestimated.

It is the focus, vision, essentialism and the simple routine that led Phelps to achieve his goal.

It is what will lead to you achieving yours.

The routine in your life will spring you to the exact life you desire quickly and almost automatically.

But only when it is built around your true mission & purpose and without any of the excess “fat” of things that don’t matter to you.

Final Thoughts: An Anecdote.

I was lost.

I had anxiety and depression throughout my younger years.

I spent my time playing video games.

Didn’t care about school.

Went out with friends as that was where my connection with other people came in.

We got drunk often.

I didn’t have much else in my life I was passionate about, so more video games and videos to fill the void.

Lots of TV.

I worked out but just because I wanted to look good.

Ate like shit.

I fixed it all at 22 years old.

How?

I got focused.

I took a step back and looked at my life.

I saw the direction it was heading in.

I asked myself what I wanted.

I asked myself if I truly thought I could achieve it. Why or why not?

Why was I not good enough?

Who made me believe that?

What proof was there?

What proof was there that I was good enough?

Why should I believe in myself?

Why am I driven by these things?

Am I truly ready to commit to them, despite potentially failing?

I did the shadow work. Skipped therapy as a result.

I got clear about what I wanted for myself over the coming 10 years.

I created a plan, and from that a routine to execute that plan.

I identified the things that were pointless.

The things that served to fill a void that I never took the time to understand in the first place.

I cut it all out.

I went all in on the vision.

Focused on 1-2 key areas (fitness & career).

I gave it everything. I still do.

I play zero video games.

I have zero depression.

I do zero things that I don’t want to do.

I wake up with excitement and anticipation daily.

I sleep well knowing i’m on the path that drives me.

I got rid of the people that held me back.

I take care of my health.

I am purposeful with my work.

I read.

I put my energy and focus into what will help me create my desired vision for myself and those around me.

Does this sound like the life you are living or want to live?

Or is it more similar to the one I had before?

Only you know the true answer.

But it doesn’t matter.

What matters is that the thing that stands between them is focus.

And the moment you narrow yours, is the moment you too can be on the path that is meant for you.

The path created by you.

- Jon